Controversial journalist Kemi Olunloyo has opened up about her deeply personal decision to remain unmarried, revealing that childhood sexual trauma shaped her views on love, relationships, and motherhood.
In an emotional social media post, she explained how the psychological scars of abuse led her to choose single motherhood over marriage.
Olunloyo recounted being sexually assaulted by over 20 men at just 13 years old on April 28, 1978, along Ikorodu Road.
The horrific experience, she said, left her emotionally scarred, destroying her ability to form romantic attachments.
“I don’t have that hormone called ‘affection’ anymore,” she wrote. “It’s the one responsible for love between man and woman.”
The trauma, she explained, made it impossible for her to trust or feel attracted to men, leading her to forgo marriage entirely. Instead, she chose to have children on her own terms, though she did not specify whether she used adoption, surrogacy, or other means.
Olunloyo emphasized that the effects of sexual abuse should never be underestimated. Many survivors struggle with intimacy, trust, and emotional connection—issues she says she still battles decades later.
“Sexual violence should not be underestimated,” she stated. “I’m not attracted to a man after what happened… It is one of the reasons I never married and just had children.”
Her revelation highlights a painful reality for many abuse survivors who, like her, may avoid traditional relationships due to unresolved trauma.
Now living a quiet, reclusive life in a one-room apartment, Olunloyo says she has found peace away from the public eye. Though she has retired from journalism, her candid confession has sparked conversations about the long-term consequences of sexual violence and the different paths survivors take toward healing.
“I now live quietly alone… and [am] happy with my peace,” she shared.
Following her post, many social media users expressed sympathy and solidarity, praising her courage for speaking out. Others shared their own stories, reinforcing how common such struggles are among survivors.
While Olunloyo has often been a polarizing figure, her raw honesty about her trauma has drawn an outpouring of support, with fans sending prayers and gifts to help her rebuild her life.
Olunloyo’s story sheds light on why some abuse survivors opt out of marriage, choosing alternative family structures instead. Psychologists note that severe childhood trauma can rewire emotional responses, making romantic relationships challenging.
Her decision to have children without marriage also raises discussions about single motherhood by choice—a growing trend among women who prioritize independence and self-determination after traumatic experiences.
In her words;
”Good Morning Nigerians. I’m receiving a high amount of messages asking to send me gifts to start my life and career over as well as interview and podcast requests from media.
I will not be feeding into any media that never supported, promoted, or posted my work and tagged me as a mad woman for 11 wasted years in Nigeria. I begged through fundraising and donations to work for so long because my own father clamped a charm bondage on my career. He never liked me being a journalist.
He never wanted my education to supersede his. I was not in competition with him. I cannot return to journalism as I’ve retired twice and have no interest anymore.
I now live quietly alone in my one-room apartment in an unknown location after moving 4 times in 2 years and happy with my peace.
God will lift me AMEN. I APPRECIATE all your gifts.
Continue to pray for me.
I am ESPECIALLY severely damaged from the se@ual attack trauma of Ikorodu Rd as it’s April 28th (1978) again. It is one of the reasons I never married and just had children. Sexual violence should not be underestimated.
I’m not attracted to a man after over 20 who molested me at 13 years old in the dark smoked-filled night of 4/28/1978. I don’t have that hormone called “affection” anymore. It’s the one responsible for love between man and woman.”
Source: NewsandVibes.com
