Ghanaian weddings are not just celebrations; they are full-scale competitive events. The grandeur, the outfits, the feasts—everything is a spectacle worthy of an international stage.
If there were an Olympics for weddings, Ghana would be a dominant force, taking gold in categories like Biggest Kente Display, Most Jollof Served, and Best Live Band Performance. Every wedding is an opportunity for families to prove their status, and no expense is spared in the battle for supremacy.
The Kente Wars: Bigger, Brighter, and Bolder
The first event in the Ghanaian Wedding Olympics? The Kente Showdown. Here, brides, grooms, and even guests go all out with the most elaborate, heavily woven Kente fabrics. It is a game of prestige—who has the most vibrant colours, the most unique designs, and, most importantly, the longest train?
Some brides are practically weighed down by layers of fabric, looking regal yet struggling to walk without assistance. The competition is fierce, and losing is not an option.
Jollof Quantities That Could Feed a Village
No Ghanaian wedding is complete without an overwhelming amount of food, and Jollof rice is the undisputed star of the feast. The goal is simple: serve enough food to feed not just the invited guests but also their uninvited plus-ones, distant cousins, and random neighbours who just happened to pass by.
The real challenge? Who serves the most? Tables overflow with trays of chicken, goat meat, fried fish, and kelewele, ensuring that no guest leaves hungry—or without a plastic takeaway bag filled to the brim. Which leads us to the next Olympic-worthy event…
The Takeaway Sprint: Guests vs. Food
Ghanaian wedding guests have an unspoken rule: Come for the celebration, leave with provisions. It is an art form. Some arrive with discreet plastic bags, ready to scoop food into containers as if they were given an official takeaway package. Others boldly request extra portions, packing rice and meat with precision, as though they are meal-prepping for the week.
This practice is so ingrained in wedding culture that it is almost expected. If the hosts didn’t want people to take food home, why did they cook in industrial quantities?
The Live Band Showdown
Finally, no Ghanaian wedding is complete without a live band competition. The more high-profile the musicians, the better. Whether it’s highlife legends, gospel choirs, or drumming troupes, the goal is to keep the energy high and the guests dancing until their feet beg for mercy.
The best bands will have guests spraying cash in appreciation—yet another silent contest of financial dominance among attendees.
The Verdict: Gold Medals All Around
Ghanaian weddings are extravagant, joyful, and highly competitive affairs. Every aspect—from the fabric to the food to the entertainment—is an opportunity to showcase wealth, taste, and family pride.
If weddings were an Olympic sport, Ghana wouldn’t just participate; we would set the global standard. Until then, we will continue to celebrate in grand style, ensuring that every wedding remains a gold-medal-worthy event.
