On Saturday 21st March, 2026, at the Eid prayer ground somewhere in Kasoa, amid devotion, gratitude, and solemn reflection, another sermon was being preached without words. It was written in trembling steps, in bodies bent by illness, in elderly men supported by canes, shoulders, and the careful arms of family. Everywhere I turned, age seemed to sit more harshly on men.
And in the painful contrast, I saw no elderly woman in similar visible distress. It was the same lesson I have often encountered on my morning walks: elderly men struggling through recovery from stroke, taking slow assisted barefoot steps, while women of their generation walk more freely, and sometimes even guide the men along.
It was a quiet but piercing reminder that the body eventually keeps account of every burden a man was taught to carry in silence. What I saw was not simply about old age. It was about the long-term cost of how society has defined manhood.
From an early age, many men are conditioned to believe that a “real man” must endure everything without breaking. He must provide, protect, satisfy, sacrifice, and survive. He must care for his wife, his mother, his children, and often the larger extended family.
He must take on difficult and physically draining tasks. He must not rest too much, lest he be branded lazy or weak. He must not complain. He must not cry. He must not admit fear, exhaustion, or emotional pain, because to do so is thought to diminish his stature. So many men grow into adulthood carrying invisible loads that are far too heavy.
They overwork. They overstress. They suppress emotion. They postpone rest. They ignore pain. They keep promising themselves that they will take care of their health later, after the bills are paid, after the children are settled, after the crisis has passed, after everyone else is okay. But “later” often comes too late.
The tragedy is that while many men spend their best years trying to prove strength, they often neglect the very things that preserve life: routine medical check-ups, blood pressure monitoring, blood sugar checks, exercise, good sleep, healthy eating, dental care, sexual and reproductive health, and mental health support.
The World Health Organization stresses that regular checks for blood pressure, blood sugar and prostate health can help detect problems early, and also emphasises that mental health deserves just as much attention as physical health. This matters because the illnesses that later disable or kill many men are often linked to risks that can be reduced.
The WHO has identified high blood pressure as one of the leading global risk factors for death, while stroke risk is strongly associated with conditions such as hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, and related lifestyle factors.
In Africa, noncommunicable diseases such as cardiovascular disease and stroke are already a major and growing cause of death.
That is why men’s health cannot be discussed only in the language of personal weakness or bad luck. It must also be discussed in the language of social conditioning. A man who has been taught that rest is weakness will rest only when sickness forces him to. A man who has been taught that tears are shameful may carry dangerous levels of emotional distress in silence.
Chronic stress itself is not harmless; research has shown that accumulated stress contributes to cardiovascular disease, and that burden can be especially consequential for men already facing other health risks. Men also need to be more deliberate about symptoms they too often dismiss. Difficulty starting urination, a weak stream, frequent night urination, or the feeling that the bladder has not emptied properly can point to prostate problems and should not be ignored.
These symptoms do not always mean cancer, but they deserve timely medical attention. The same is true of persistent fatigue, headaches, chest discomfort, sudden weakness, poor sleep, erectile difficulties, anxiety, low mood, or unexplained changes in weight and appetite.
Silence is not strength when the body is sounding an alarm. Even sleep, often treated as a luxury by men trying to “push through,” is part of health, not an escape from responsibility. Evidence reviewed in NIH-hosted studies suggests that poor sleep and sleep disruption may be linked with poorer health outcomes, including cardiovascular stress and possible associations with prostate cancer risk that researchers continue to investigate.
This does not mean every tired man is headed for disease, but it does mean that rest is not laziness. Rest is maintenance. Sleep is repair.
So what should men do differently?
First, men must reject the false idea that seeking healthcare is a sign of fear. Checking blood pressure, monitoring blood sugar, discussing prostate symptoms, treating dental disease, and speaking to a professional about depression, anxiety, or emotional burnout are not signs of weakness; they are acts of wisdom.
The WHO’s guidance is plain: even when you feel healthy, regular health checks matter, and mental health care matters too.
Second, younger men especially must learn to manage stress before stress begins to manage their lives. Exercise, sufficient sleep, reduced alcohol and tobacco use, healthier diets, periodic check-ups, and emotional openness are not soft habits; they are survival habits.
Third, families and communities must stop rewarding self-destruction in the name of masculinity. A man should not have to nearly collapse before he is allowed to rest. He should not have to suffer a stroke before anyone notices that he has been carrying too much. We must teach boys and men that responsibility includes responsibility to self. The one who cares for everyone else must also care for his own body and mind.
Perhaps, then, the next International Men’s Day should do more than praise men for their sacrifices. It should deconstruct, the construct of who a male or a man is as been handed to us by society. It should challenge the inherited script of manhood itself.
It should ask what truly makes a man a “real man.” Is it the ability to suffer in silence until the body gives way? Or is it the wisdom to seek help, the discipline to rest, the courage to speak, and the maturity to preserve one’s health for the sake of those one loves?
The scenes at the Eid prayer ground and on the morning roadside were deeply moving, but they were also instructive. They were warnings written in human frailty. They were reminders that many of the illnesses that break men down in old age do not begin in old age.
They begin in youth, in habits ignored, in stress unmanaged, in pain suppressed, in medical care postponed, in a culture that praises endurance but neglects wellness.
A man who never rests may one day be forced to stop. A man who never speaks may one day be silenced by sickness. A man who spends his life proving strength may discover too late that true strength was in choosing to heal.
And so the call is urgent: men must rethink manhood. Not as endless suffering. Not as silent sacrifice. Not as the burden of carrying the whole world while neglecting the self.
But as responsibility, balance, courage, reflection, and health. Because the strongest man is not the one who ignores his wounds. It is the one who has the wisdom to heal before they become fatal.
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DISCLAIMER: The Views, Comments, Opinions, Contributions and Statements made by Readers and Contributors on this platform do not necessarily represent the views or policy of Multimedia Group Limited.
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