First-time mothers share their journeys

For many women, becoming a mother for the first time can be a life-changing experience.

It is an experience filled with excitement but also marked by fear, uncertainty and new responsibilities that could feel overwhelming.

Ahead of Mother’s Day on May 10, interviews by The Mirror with first-time mothers indicated that behind every smiling baby is a woman learning, adjusting and doing her best each day.

A beautiful but stressful beginning

Some of these mothers noted how the journey could be beautiful but stressful. For 29-year-old public servant Amanda Theodora Wulff, becoming a mother to her now one-year-old daughter was an experience that forced her to shut down her beauty salon.

She said that although she was excited during pregnancy, the reality after delivery was far more demanding. The sleepless nights alone, she noted, were enough to bring her to tears, especially when the baby cried for no clear reason.

“That one to six months phase can be exciting sometimes, with their cute yawns and giggles. But I was finding it difficult to combine motherhood, work and my business, so my husband and I agreed that I close the shop to give me more time. Hopefully, I’ll return to it soon,” she said.

Ms Wulff explained that she had to quickly learn how to care for her baby without much experience.

She said the support from her mother and other family members was very helpful, while online videos also guided her through breastfeeding, bathing and soothing her child.

“You need patience, strength and knowledge to be able to care properly for a baby. Mothers are definitely the real Most Valuable Persons,” she added.

For 32-year-old makeup artist Mrs Quincy Okoeghene, the experience has been slightly different.

She described her delivery as complicated, saying she bled and had to undergo a caesarean section. She noted that the support from her relatives made the transition easier. Her baby is just three weeks old.

“My job now is to pump breast milk and rest, so it has been quite manageable so far and I am happy. Hopefully they don’t leave me, otherwise I will cry,” she said, laughing. 

Sleepless nights

Many first-time mothers acknowledge the lack of sleep as one of their challenges. The constant need to feed and check on a newborn can leave them exhausted, affecting their mental health and daily routines, a condition commonly linked to post-partum stress.

A 27-year-old banker, Precious Cudjoe, said she struggled to balance work and motherhood after her maternity leave ended.

“It was not easy going back to work. I would be at the office thinking about my baby all the time. Even when I come home tired, I still have to be a mother first,” she said.

She noted that support from her husband played a key role in helping her cope, acknowledging how difficult it’d be for women doing this journey alone.

Miss Cudjoe recalled her doctor explaining that the emotional, hormonal and anxiety-related changes first-time mothers experience were normal. 

However, eight months after delivery, she said post-partum hair loss and skin rashes had been her biggest struggles.

Despite the challenges, she said she still looked forward to having two more children.

Cultural expectations and family support

In Ghana, cultural expectations and family support also shape the experiences of first-time mothers. While this support can be helpful, some mothers say it can also come with pressure.

“Everyone has advice. Sometimes it is confusing because one person says do this and another says that. Doctors are saying this, and social media advisers are also saying that. It’s like everyone is smarter than you, the mother,” Ms Wulff said.

Also expressing her experience with societal pressure was nurse and caterer, Ms Beauty Husunu. 

“Right after giving birth, they’ll start asking you when you are having the next. If it’s a girl, they’ll now tell you to make sure the next one is a boy. Your in-laws will also expect you to be a perfect mother and you’ll find other mothers within your circle comparing their babies. Unsolicited advice all over the place. I’m even tired”.

She noted how unrewarding and difficult it’d be if a mother didn’t have a supportive partner or one who isn’t a good leader. 

Finding strength in motherhood

Beyond the challenges, finding strength in motherhood was their goal. They noted that motherhood brought a sense of purpose and deep love they had never felt.

For Ms Cudjoe, becoming a mother changed her outlook on life. “When I look at my baby, I feel strong. Even though I am young, I now think about the future differently. I want to do better for my child,” she said.

She said she hoped to live long enough to see her grandchildren and to advance herself and her career.

Call for support 

These mothers also called for appreciation and support. They noted that what they needed most was support, rest and understanding from those around them.

They said they wanted recognition for the effort they put into caring for their children every day.

“People should appreciate mothers more, especially new ones. It is not easy, but we are trying our best,” Ms Husunu said.